How friendships, students, relatives, and human connections often determine where I go next.

When I first started traveling, I was traveling to destinations that had been on my proverbial list of places I wanted to see for some reason or another. For example, I’d always been drawn to France (and Paris and its Eiffel Tower was the marker for that). I was drawn to Laos because that’s where my people (my parents, aunts, uncles and grandparents) emigrated from. Mexico, because it was easy access. Iceland (I still haven’t been) because of its natural beauty. But when I started traveling, how I traveled started to change. This list didn’t go away, but I added more to the list because of people (another element was being taken into consideration).

I’d made a lot of friends and met a lot of people over the years. I started using Couchsurfing after my first big “adult” international vacation. That changed everything or it would, about the way I traveled. Through Couchsurfing, I met people because I would stay with locals, I would meet people at meetings in the local city, I would meet locals and other travelers through hangouts. I was making friends not bound by geography. Visiting someone gave me a reason to return to places I’d been before and a reason to visit new places that had never been on my radar, or had been very low on the original list.

My first real experience was domestically here in the US. It was the year I was going to be “responsible” with my travels. In 2019, I was going to stick to domestic travels to “save money” and the goal was to spread it out throughout the year. I finished all my domestic travels before June. Oops. And I still haven’t a lot of vacation time life…I guess that meant I could “squeeze in” an international trip.

My domestic trips included:
-New York City, NY (to visit the NYC Fam)
-Portland (to visit Colleen)
-Denver (to visit Lana)
-Minneapolis (to visit the fam and friends)

My international trip included:
-Tokyo (my 1st time – traveling with Ed)
-NYC (it was on the way to Paris)
-Paris (3 – 1 Michelin star meals – made a new friend, Mandy)
-London (2 – 1 Michelin star meals – stayed with friend Alex, met Mike)
-Dublin (just as Dublin won the Irish Football Championship – traveled with a different Mike)
-London (for 2 nights then back to Chicago via Iceland)

One last domestic trip in December:
-Kona, HI

This list of trips alone shows how people were becoming the priority. The destination wasn’t completely disregarded, but the people were starting to determine the route. Looking back, 2019 was probably the year the two ways I traveled really started to balance out: places I wanted to see and people I wanted to see.

Even though I’m sometimes going back to places I’ve been before, going to see someone changed how I saw the city. I was getting to experience a familiar place through someone else’s eyes or I was able to show them something they might otherwise not think to do. In 2019, it was when I went back to London. I stayed in a more residential area with my friend Alex. I let him take the lead though he did ask my opinion and make sure I was okay with whatever. I was. I wanted to see what Alex’s London was like…what’d he do, what’d he eat, where’d he go to hang out. It wasn’t about having him show me the “real” London. I wanted to experience his London.

Then I started teaching English online, because extra spending money and structure wasn’t not a bad thing. I met people from all around the world again. My students shared with me things about their hometowns, their countries, their families. It was another opportunity for cultural exchange. I started picking destinations because of people even more. I wanted to keep the relationships I’d built alive.

Another place I go for the people is Phuket. To be honest, Phuket is not a favorite destination, but it has some of my favorite people. One of my students is Russian, and the only opportunity for me to meet her is meeting her in Phuket when her family travels there for their holidays. It’s been amazing to just go and spend time doing whatever and eating with them. It’s all about the quality time. Now, I dislike Phuket a bit less.

So, did I really “see” a place if I went there mostly to see people and hang out? Was the trip still successful? I say yes. I made it to my destination, and more importantly, I got to spend time with the people I went there to see. I made time for them, and they made time for me. That doesn’t mean I don’t care about seeing the place itself. When I visit somewhere new, I usually pick one to three touristy things I want to see, one to three things I want to eat or try, and one to three things I want to do. Sometimes people join me; sometimes I do those things alone. But I don’t travel at breakneck speeds trying to check everything off a list. I leave a lot of flexibility because schedules change, weather happens, and sometimes spending three hours eating and talking with someone is more important to me than getting to the next attraction. If I don’t see everything or eat everything I was “supposed” to, that’s okay. It just gives me another reason to come back. A successful trip isn’t about how many things I managed to check off a list. It’s about experiencing a place, spending time with people I care about, and enjoying whatever happens in between. I still have a list of places I want to see (Iceland and Switzerland are still waiting, after all), but these days, when I look at the map, I don’t just see destinations. I see people. Sometimes the place takes me to the person, and sometimes the person takes me to the place. Either way, I get somewhere worth going.